Anybody who doesn’t know that politics is crime has got a few screws loose.

James Ellroy

What I want is a vacation from myself. I’ve tried exercise, meditation, sex, and food. I wait for the desire to plan a wedding or have a kid or buy a house and when those things don’t take hold or are plainly untenable, I get my aura read. I open a trillion tabs of internet and drink it in. I gorge on studies about magnets that make you think differently and begin researching the properties of crystals. I don’t think about any of it as self-help because that’s way too pathetic, certainly more than the itchy meh I feel. I want to hurl my brain into outer space; it’s real, real quiet there, the ultimate holiday of feeling small. But because I’m not pregnant and don’t have cancer, I just want to do drugs again.

Drug days are like sick days. You only get so many a year. Or maybe they’re like viable eggs. You’re loaded with them as a kid and then somewhere in your late-30s you have, like, nine left. I don’t believe in much but I believe in the mysticism of drugs. And the sacred places your thoughts go when you recalibrate and feel accurately insignificant. I’m checked out of work, people, and organized religion. I want something, though. I want ecstasy.

Eat, Pray, Roll

[1] Image: The Happy Helmet by Ben Frost.
[2] Article: Eat, Pray, Roll. Long form xstelgia from Mary H.K. Choi.
[3] Video: Foul Play – Dubbing You – 1992

*
Everybody deserves a drug day.
Especially now. Especially you.


Author Dennis Cooper curates a collection of modern art that centres around the theme of blood. (Image: Blood and Semen (1990) Andres Serrano)

“Early radiologists would calibrate their X-ray machines by sliding a hand slowly through the beam in thirty second intervals. This photo (c.1900) shows the damage caused by long-term radiation exposure.”

~ Dr. Lindsey Fitzharris


Listen to the world while you are in lockdown with this interactive map of streamable radio stations from around the globe.

Never one to miss an opportunity, Banksy adds a couple million dollars to the market value of his home by vandalizing his bathroom during quarantine. Banksy comments – “My wife hates it when I work from home.” (Via)

... not only have I always had trouble distinguishing between what happened and what merely might have happened, but I remain unconvinced that the distinction, for my purposes, matters.

Joan Didion | On Keeping A Notebook (pdf) | #Ditto

at-night

At Night by Franz Kafka
Via Biblioklept

I woke up in the middle of the night to find the ghost of Hunter S. Thompson smoking at the foot of my bed. "Morning Shooter," he said, "Is it weird enough for you yet?”

Noctuary | # Pandemic Etc | 03.28.2020